In Their Own Words: Religion and Ethnicity

This is the girl from the last post--the one who converted to Islam. Here, she talks about how people view religion and race, and how they often mean the same things in people's minds.

When people find out I am a Muslim, they don’t understand it. Right away they…as if…“how could you accept it? You’re not part of that religion.” For them, to be Muslim means to be Asia—that is, your physical appearance should look Muslim. For a lot of people that’s a really strong stereotype. One time I went to the bazaar and bought some clothes. The vendor was Kyrgyz and his nephew was standing there—he was probably my age. I had little Muslim pendant on. He looked. I live here, so I naturally understand Kyrgyz. He says, “Look, the Russian is wearing a Muslim pendant.” His first thought was that I was some unconscionable Russian that was wearing a Muslim pendant. His uncle hit him and said, “Get out of here.” He understood that I understood, and apologized. I said don’t worry about it. I called the nephew over and said, “I’m a Muslim. Don’t think that I wear this pendant just as some kind of jewelry.” He said he thought I didn’t know what it meant. I said he should just assume things like that about people. I talked to him a little about it. A few people think things like that and they want to say it. Some do say it. And I often don’t wear that pendant. On public transportation people often see it and think its so out of the ordinary and strange. It’s hard for me. I can’t say anything to them. I walk up to every other person on the street and say, “I’m a Muslim…I’m a Muslim…Don’t stare at me…Don’t stare at me…” It’s hard to say that to everyone. You walk around and think, “Do I need to make a sign that says I’m a Muslim? Leave me alone.” But, you know, it would be hard for me to live either way. On one hand I feel on the inside that I am a Muslim, but on the other hand to be a Christian so people just calmed down and looked at me like any other Russian girl—I can’t do that either. But to walk around in a headscarf or hijab…although like I already said that’s not a problem for me. I’m a Muslim. I can do that. But to have everyone point their fingers…it’s hard.